At last, I finally get to badmouth soccer! I find soccer is the whiniest sport in the entire world…”He hit me!” “Yellow card,” says the Ref. “Oooh, he hit me again!” “Red card, you’re out of the game,” says the Ref.
I mean, are you kidding me? If you’re so good at soccer you should be able to win without having to whine and fake injury, etc. Plus, you look really bad on television then. Very bad. Very very bad. Very, oh I could go on all day. Enough about this.
That’s all I want to say.
Wait, I want to say one more thing about a completely different subject! Why is the sky blue? And why are the clouds white? And how come the sun doesn’t explode? And how come the Earth doesn’t shrink? And how come space doesn’t suck us all in? And how come my brother is sneaking up behind me trying to whack me on the head?
Crunch. The End.
“Ooooh, that’s a red card,” says the Ref.
Signed: Kaiba the Tormentor
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Sky’s blue because our eyes interpret the reflected light to be blue. Clouds are white because like steam and snow it is the visible water vapour in the air. The sun is constantly exploding with millions of explosions occuring on the surface every minute. It too will, in time, explode and expand to cover the majority of our solar system enveloping everything in cancery goodness. The Earth is constantly shrinking and growing with the tectonic movements happening deep below the Earth’s crust. Space is sucking us all in just at a speed that we cannot define. The center of our galaxy just happens to be a black hole gorging itself on the planets and stars of the milky way’s spiral arms. Your brother is sneaking up on you because I told him to and because you deserve it
. So there, take that Kaiba!
PS Can’t red card your way out of this one, Kaiba.
Signed,
“Henry Schmawfulofagus” aka “Princess Elixis” aka “Yes I Am Better Than You Now Bow Before Me In A Way That Won’t Have My Bible Study Teachers Questioning My Commitment To The Christian Religon”
RED CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (thank you, ref)
P.S. Haha, in your face.
P.P.S. I sense bad things coming my way………………………
Signed: Kaiba the Tormentor A.K.A. “my name is better than yours”
Don’t worry. Those bad things will come in a cleverly worded written piece…eventually. I still have quite a few reviews I was supposed to have written by now. Meeow is the only one I finished.
Green Card! There. Now it’s Christmas colors. Yes, I am forcing my Christian beliefs on you.